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Some peace and quiet

with 3 comments

It’s nice to get along with your neighbours. Yesterday I spent 2 hours listening to one of ours–again. He is a 3-time ex-convict, recovering crack addict, formerly homeless, used-to-be-gangsta, etc.. Ever met those types of people who just have to talk loudly, no matter what? How about those types that can’t stop spitting little bits of saliva when they speak? Nice one. Mad nice to meet you.

This guy has lately become so paranoid that he’s convinced that a neighbour nearby is actually a prison guard, and that everyone in our neighbourhood is conspiring against him.

He’s “caught” our neighbours talking to each other–obviously about him, what else could they possibly be talking about? The other day, he realized that they had trained all their cats and dogs to shit and piss on his garden. Also, apparently they wait for him to clean his garden, then throw junk into his lot.

They have also used pre-emptive strikes to “mess up” 5 chances he had with women (all of whom he seemed convinced he would marry). They also know when he is doing his Islamic verses and prayers (he’s trying to convert into the faith), and deliberately make things “unclean” for him, breaking in and touching his Koran, and so forth.

Also, the neighbours listen to his phone conversations, plan when he’s out to burgularise his flat up, and don his hoodie and track pants. He caught someone wearing his track suit once, yelled and threatened them until they ran off. When he got back home, he discovered that his place had been apparently entered into, and it seemed as if the clothes were put back hastily. No joke.

From what I know, our neighbours seem to be mostly families. This guy is a single thirtysomething spazz who can’t hold an honest job down for the life of him. Makes sense that they’d be mad envious and want to mess him up.

… did I mention he consistently reeks of burger grease smell?

Pure “I C, I C… /me nods head and looks at his watch repeatedly.” Woe is me, for I can’t be rid of dickheads.

Written by art

February 26th, 2008 at 8:02 pm

3 Responses to 'Some peace and quiet'

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  1. Pure Al-Qaeda material.

    Dr. Guildo

    27 Feb 08 at 14:21

  2. hey, you did that “I C I C /me nods” to me too 🙁

    clarkee

    27 Feb 08 at 18:58

  3. I C, I C.

    /me nods.

    That’s what you get for puking up my toilet and bedroom!!!! NO MERCY FOR REPEAT OFFENDERS!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Art

    28 Feb 08 at 12:43

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